Friends who always have problems. I find better ppl and my life only improves.

Friends who always have problems The girl who brought me in this group wanted to always have the attention. Well of course. He found it incredibly hard to believe that someone could genuinely be kind or helpful without a hidden agenda. I didn't want to talk to him again anyway. This is what friends seek from and provide for one another. I've had many serious talks with him, and directly told him that 1: I see him, understand his problems, have great empathy and will always support him - but I don't have the time to respond all the time. Create a See full list on verywellmind. I was having a conversation once while riding passenger in a friend's car and she even brought up how much bad luck I have and literally 10 minutes later we got in a wreck when a guy blew a stop sign and hit us (everyone was ok). A true friend will be there for you, even in hard times, to lend a listening ear or a helping hand. I have a bunch of friends but I have 1 good friend and she came into unexpectedly. I had a friend like this and all she did was make me miserable. Because of this, they vent to me about their problems back at home and all the mental issues that have surfaced as a result. felt. I have best friends that know this and I haven't made many new friends so who knows how I come across to them lol but I'm personally very private. Nov 2, 2024 · The first type of friend who will always have your back is the Constant Cheerleader. It’s important to surround yourself with friends who understand this and make you feel cherished for who you are, not what you achieve. The problems you have now are not at all an inescapable part of who you are. Don't be someone's audience - you deserve more than that I'm tired of being the number 1 in someones life only to lose them completely when "the one" they have been waiting for comes along. There are moans I'd have with a particular friend I wouldn't have with another for that reason. Not being there always Sometimes, we may feel that our friend hasn’t been there for us always. You need to tell friend that you are NOT a therapist, & to please get one. I would like to make more friends. They never really seem to inquire about things I talk about and they act surprised when i open up. I like it that way, since most people don't really care about what we do, as long as we're hanging out. Your friend is going through a lot and is venting and requesting support. No matter what you suggest, no matter how straightforward a solution there is, they have an excuse for why they can't possibly solve this problem. 22. The one that seems to thrive on drama and is always involved in one crisis o have tantrums, or create problems at school. We used to be roommates but this year I had to separate myself from my group of friends and live with other people because they would emotional dump on me for hours and would never leave my room. I am the problem I think people just wanna hang out with me cuz they feel bad that I don't have friends and that makes me not wanna hang out with people even more, like they think they are doing me a favour, I could have friends if I wanted to I just don't want any, between work my bf and family and the fact that I'm a home body I don't wanna I have a friend who I’ve known for about 15 years. I have this super irritating friend who talks about himself all the time!! Each time when we talk over the phone, the entire conversation will be about how his day was, problems with his friends, colleagues, and what are the plans for the future. He has several other friends, but no one he talks openly to like me. In an ideal world, parents, grandparents, and friends always show their love and support to their loved ones, no matter what. I’m here, happily married, just living my life and I have these 2 friends always in crisis mode and… well I guess my question is, is it wrong for me to be tired of this?? Burnt out? Because I am. For as long as I remembered, I've always been the butt of the joke in the various friend groups and social settings I've been. What attracts two people can be hard to quantify or understand. I think I have friend-commitment issues lol In college rn, making friends is almost a job. Im 30 years old with no high school diploma, I hated school I was always made fun of over my weight nobody liked me in school I had no friends. They are an amazing person and are kind/nice to me. I find better ppl and my life only improves. I’d cut them out of my life completely. Jul 3, 2021 · Emotionally draining friends can be a common problem that many people have to deal with. She has problems, I am the “therapist”. His constant suspicion acted like a shield, keeping people at arm’s length and preventing any form of deep connection. I have a long-time friend like this. There was no cheating or beating or drug/alcohol abuse, yet the damage from the poor communication skills we had at the time was just as bad as from those. You feel that way because they DON'T care about you. I always have to do that fake smile, "aww Jenny, you have these boys drooling" type of thing. fizkes | Shutterstock. I feel like this old group used to be after fame and not for real connections. We work together and they complain about every little change or policy at work. If you want to have good mental health you need to take on some responsibility to look after it. The few friends I have are friends I'll never give up. I'm not that type of friend and I get angry when someone always asks me for advice but never takes it. A relationship is a 2 way street. I don't want to get too attached to doing things with Jan 20, 2025 · Growing up, I had a friend who was always skeptical about others’ intentions, always questioning their motives. . This friend won’t quit if they think you will always be there to listen. As someone whose super social. O. We aren't friends anymore. One of my friends of 4 years now has recently been calling me and he’s going through a lot. I’m not saying it’s the best way to go about it, but it’s okay to end it on your terms. You’ll find that this friend is always there to listen, to encourage, and to reassure you that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. They provide social and emotional support, ease feelings of loneliness, and help Oct 7, 2014 · Carrying your sense of self-importance from the job into your personal life can get old very quickly for a spouse, family member, or friend who can only put up with so much self-absorption. I have struggled for years on how to handle it. If you feel like you have problems you can't solve, same thing. It's just in my nature to listen to people and offer advice. The fact that you have a boyfriend that’s good. I'm always the planner and always have been in every relationship. I can relate though I struggle with mental issues myself. But if your friend is always unavailable or disinterested in helping you when you need it the most, it’s a clear indication that your friendship Jan 19, 2012 · I and my friend have been good friends for 4 years. A good portion of my friends are better looking than I am. I share things when I'm ready to share them. They care about you being their audience. Lol I’ve said the same thing before to my bf. If you’re trying to spot someone like this or make sense of a tricky dynamic, here are 15 telltale […] Dec 1, 2016 · 4. The 3 nasty friends I have or had seem to have serious mental issues and take it out on me and others. Sep 25, 2019 · We all have one of those friends. Even with close friends. • The downside here is that making new friends is something a lot of us have resistance to at the start, especially when we have a group of friends that are relatively okay already. We fought many times but always resolved it. I don't know your friend, so it depends on their personality. If values don't align, it can create tension and distance. I have the opposite problem. You've barely had the chance to be in charge of your own life yet. Feb 27, 2018 · There can be a number of reasons why someone might ghost on you, and it is good to find out what reasons people might have for what they do. So we'd just sit around, watch TV, talk. I have a friend that has a lot of problems in her life, and I hate to see her suffer. ive always had problems w maintaining friends. Oct 19, 2015 · Don’t let yourself become consumed with your friend’s problems. But my attempts to help only do two things: 1: Annoys her because she wants to just talk about other stuff 2: Makes her think I’m more of a therapist and not a friend Seriously, not enough people have friends that really listen to them. So I respected that and decided to be his friend anyway. I have no interest in listening to such empty chatter. We all know that one friend who seems to attract drama like a moth to a flame. Lead by example. Jan 27, 2023 · Engaging in relaxing activities; having hobbies or interests separate from your friends; and taking breaks or space apart from your friends when needed are all possible ways to find some relief when you're feeling overwhelmed from constantly being there for your friends. I feel you dude, I have that same problem with a lot of my friends. I have no problem with having a lively discussion with a person about things, but I have tried to avoid a lot of arguments. I'm happy I walked out of it. Unfortunately, i have the same problems. This is a problem that can be solved, but first, it is important to understand how to identify emotionally draining friends. I'm this friend too. They’re the first to celebrate your wins, no matter how small or insignificant they might seem to others. But this time it was huge. To be happy we need something to solve. From someone who has been in her exact position. Oct 18, 2010 · The difference between me and your friends is that I have learnt this about myself and I am always finding ways to show my friends I appreciate them, and I have learnt that sometimes all people need os a shoulder to cry on, or a big hug, or a nice cup of tea and a distraction- and those things I can do- so I'm learning to support them too. My friend asked me for my rubber band and I gave it to her. This happened with two friends and I have since declared them "superficial friends" so now they are just a little higher than aquaintances. Friend friends are hard to come by. Being a good friend of theirs, it would be wrong of me to ignore their grievances, and I’m no stranger to comforting people either. Any relationship. I am like his only friend because he constantly pisses everyone around him off and I want to be there for him because he’s not a bad guy. You can't stand your friend's boyfriend or spouse. I have a feeling her friend is not going to take accountability no matter what she says. Sep 5, 2022 · Some people disagree, criticize, interrupt, and stir up conflict whenever they can. I have a close friend (or who I thought were close) who vent about their problems but don't ever pay attention when I tell them mine. While your friends are not responsible for magically fixing every problem you have or completely transforming your mood, it is important to see if you feel valued, encouraged, heard and understood by them. Oct 6, 2016 · Exceptions to this last rule are: a] if there is an emergency; for instance, if your friend is endangered by domestic violence [suggest a domestic violence program for information, assessment and specialized help]; b] towards the end of a discussion, if the person with the problem has come up with no options and you have some ideas that might help. I just listen to them, talk about it, and joke about it sometimes. Jul 26, 2024 · Navigating a friendship where one person constantly tries to solve the other's problems can be challenging. Yup. Haha. Every workplace has an issue: coworkers who are catty, management that isn’t supportive, information that isn’t clear, and demands that are unrealistic. Oh, and we all know the correct way to 'solve the world's problems' (even though no one has called on us to do so. I I close friend of mine tends to be very negative. It was just exhausting and I realized I never felt good after spending time with her. Pay attention to your friend's actions, not just their words. She didnt want help for her problems either; just wanted someone to go down the rabbit hole with her and tell her how bad she had it. This dynamic often stems from a desire to help, but it can sometimes feel overbearing or dismissive of one's own ability to handle their issues. She has since found a group of people that are “below” her (social status wise) and she seems much happier being the queen bee rather than the jealous rude bitch she was around people she felt insecure around. Jan 22, 2024 · Living with depression can feel like an uphill battle, but you don’t have to face it alone. I talk to my husband about our problems and any issues I have with him specifically. I keep a journal, I write poetry, paint, and do I’m sorry your going through this. Neither of you are assholes. He/she is always moving and wants a friend to join in on the Jan 21, 2012 · PROBLEM 2. I have a ridiculous number of friends like this. Aug 16, 2017 · As much as possible, it’s usually best to avoid involving other people, especially when you have friends in common. And you might end up feeling guilty for gossiping or dealing with the tension or conflict that ensues. It is okay for you to be flawed and make Dec 2, 2020 · Just like physical health problems, mental health problems don’t go away by themselves. It's become a joke about how much shit luck I have in life among my friends and family. We often talk to friends in confidence about things we wouldn’t discuss with our families. Jul 10, 2018 · A lot of the science on friendships and health focuses on how good friends produce happy, mentally well-adjusted people. We used to have a mutual friend but that friend never liked their plans always falling through so they ended it. We’ve been friends for almost a handful of years and have always laughed a lot together and bonded over having shitty childhoods. BetterHelp offers accessible, affordable, and convenient online therapy that can help you manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life. Some people can't help it tho, and not everyone can afford a professional. Our friends may annoy us, but they can also keep us Mar 4, 2024 · Imagine you have a friend who messes up, but instead of admitting it, they point fingers at someone else. But they have a habit of always seeing the bad side of things and then complaining about them. Not easy to find the right middle sometimes it's often gut feeling. That said, I’d challenge you to think about why it is you’ve decided that Mike is a “bad friend” because nothing you’ve listed actually sounds that bad at all. It goes both ways. If you find that you’re constantly listening to your friend talk about their problems, offering them advice, and consoling them, but never get the same effort in return, it’s a sign your friend doesn’t have your best interests at heart, or they’re just really self-centered. This is a bit like what happens with scapegoating. If you haven’t guessed, I think your friend & my neighbor are shitty friends at best and not really friends at worst. Tell Them You Have No Useful Feedback to Contribute. All of my really good friends who supported me and always said good things to me and were always there for me and roooted for me moved away sadly. [1][2][3] If this describes someone in your life, you’ll probably need a lot of patience and also a few new skills to… Jan 24, 2025 · Listening to your friend’s feelings and offering different perspectives can help them navigate these issues more effectively. Being The friends that understood me all died fairly young. My friend is always complaining about life, saying she’s so depressed and hates her life and isn’t happy, and feels suicidal sometimes. I'm always inquisitive about my friends and topics when they bring it up. The keyword here is "solving. But this one friend talked so much about themselves, I had to train myself to stop engaging in hopes they would sense the silence and ask me a Insecurity. Feb 27, 2019 · At the same time, a good friend consider the circumstances the other is under before moaning about a, situation when the other is dealing with much worse. Which obviously sucks… and they’re coping in an unhealthy way. Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded. I understand that they're focused on their problems at the moment and I suppose they feel comfortable coming to me in particular as we've always been there for each other but in the past year I've noticed it has become very one-sided and all about them and that's all they come to me about and, to me, that isn't a friendship. Or maybe when they do have something nice to say to you, your instincts tell you they don't really mean it. Buttt, I do have some friends (one specifically, an extrovert) who just comment back on the subject I mention and that's that. The consequences of being emotionally drained can be felt in many ways, some good and some bad. Validate their feelings and offer a different perspective. Everybody always comes to me with their problems, they use me as a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, a problem solver, ect. Then you need to cut the calls short until you see a change in her. Sep 9, 2021 · "They may have a particular perspective of their friend where they think, 'your problems aren't as big as mine. I don’t know why she’s still friends with the neighbor. Jul 2, 2019 · 3. Our brain loves familiarity and comfort. Then he changed his bad friends, started becoming more serious about his life and opened up about his goals and his issues the direction his life is headed down. I have been guilty of being a "know-it-all" in the past, and I learned the hard way that it annoys people. But venting to someone else isn’t going to help your friend solve their problem. It just takes 1 and of course I hope your bf is your best friend. This involves using coping mechanisms which are things that help reduce stress and improve your mental health. A true friend is there for support and help, during difficult times. Jun 12, 2023 · A friend who doesn’t care will always have something else to do or a reason not to be around. I wanted my rubber band back so I asked her instead she threw the rubbar band at me and brought up all the previous arguments and also addede new misunderstanding. " If you're avoiding your problems or feel like you dont have any, you're going to make yourself miserable. Our conversations are 10% about me, 90% about her Circles of friends will always have "instigators" and followers. We have been together since 1996, married in 1999, and almost divorced in 2002. Or, claims YOU are wrong. Being sure about the info is nothing to worry about. Now I’m glad to do those things as it means the person trusts me and I’m grateful that they feel they can open up to me, but honestly the weight of everyone’s pains start to get a little heavy sometimes. com Jul 10, 2024 · Below, two therapists explain how to deal with a chronic complainer and strike the balance between showing empathy and setting boundaries. Aug 1, 2024 · If you’ve ever dated, worked with, or been friends with someone who always manages to make the bad stuff in their life everyone else’s fault, you know just how infuriating it can be. Dec 10, 2024 · We’ve all come across someone who seems to think the world revolves around them. When people or groups face challenges, scapegoating lets them blame someone else. There are obviously a lot more friendship problems than the ones which appear in this article, but hopefully, it should get you started, and help motivate you to find out more about friendship problems and how to solve them from other places. And opened up about my problems too. Oct 15, 2021 · 1. We’ve had a very specific dynamic during our friendship which I have 100% helped to foster. They always have a crisis going on, real or imagined, and seem to thrive on the chaos that surrounds them. We will have days when our own struggles leave us with no energy to listen to someone else’s concerns. You need to be able to expect the same consideration and support from your friend. I make it clear that if they are going to ask for help yet unwilling to help themselves, then I can't help them. I've been through so much more, therefore I'm going to make you aware of how my Jan 19, 2017 · “Typically, when we take on others’ stress, we are putting ourselves in situations where we have all the drawbacks of a problem – fear, worry, stress – without any way of actually doing Jan 16, 2024 · It’s your friend who always manages to score tickets or passes to the hottest sporting event, concert, or party in town. That's cool. I love them really, they're great people! But all they do is describe their particular problem(s) and then ask for advice. It’s what makes us friends. She wanted to hang out likeevery day. If they seem distressed, listen to what they have to say and offer support. Most of us feel pretty uncomfortable when this happens. Being selfish is not a good trait in friendship. To comfort a friend in distress, ask if they would like to talk about their situation. So that outweighs showing something that reminds me of them. only you're not, and you have a life too!Marie Dubuque continues to talk a Aug 17, 2013 · Btw! When they see coworkers or long lost friends when we are together they always go right up and talk to them. I've always left friends like that and not once have I regretted it. The next time they start pointing the finger at everyone but themselves, here are a few things you can Mar 1, 2025 · I’ve always enjoyed our lunches together before, as it gets me out of the house for a few hours, but mostly I haven’t said much about my anxiety or any problems I may have. Good friendships are mutual where each party listens to the other. These people walk through life convinced that everyone else is the issue, and their behavior can make any interaction frustrating and draining. When you don’t have plans, you contact this friend and he/she will have five different options for you to choose from for that day. I am trying to work out what to do about our friendship. etc. While there is nothing wrong with being a good friend who is always there for other people, we should not forget that we don’t always have the emotional resources to do that. i always feel like im more invested in maintaining friendships than others. 6) The drama magnet. I’m feeling conflicted about continuing a friendship with someone who is always in crisis. She has to work 24/7 to keep a roof over head because her deadbeat boyfriend of 7 years has depression and anxiety so he “can’t work”. However, you don’t just have to sit back and take it. Jan 16, 2025 · After all, isn’t it great to have a friend who’s always rooting for you? Well, not always. After all, our friendships are some of the most valuable relationships we have. He calls me to solve his problems but I’m NO therapist. The content is almost always of a problem at work or a death. To him and our other friend too. Then I have another friend in the middle of a divorce. I also don't understand why some people think I can read their mind. Please know, we're not the types that spam our whining and expecting other people to solve our problems. More than likely her friend is going to give excuses even if she were to talk about it and try to fix it. Does anyone else have a friend who nearly always (usually after being around her for at least an hour) starts disagreeing with you about absolutely everything? And acts like they already knew anything and everything you tell them? They also constantly try to find flaws in what I say to pull me up on it and contradict me. I had the problem of people giving out wrong information just to hide the fact that they don't know a thing. I have a friend who complains religiously. Super funny. My friend’s work problems are making me anxious. She had no plans. If your friend contacts you non-stop about the S. People always say they feel better talking to me because they work through all their thoughts. They may not always have the perfect advice or solution, but they offer something equally important – empathy and compassion. It's a bummer when they start being negative about everything. It's something that I had to come to terms with but it used to bother the hell out of me, still does sometimes. I like doing it. As these children grow, the Sep 18, 2008 · I've always been the type of person that is there for the people I care about. He can’t keep job. 1 day ago · 2. Jan 26, 2024 · Maybe your friend admits when they wrong you, but you don't feel like their apology is genuine. Oct 14, 2020 · DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a male friend who is always bringing up people I don’t know: people he works with and people from his past. Maybe we feel saddened by our friend’s pain or annoyed at her husband’s lack of trying. True, you might feel less alone. Sometimes I wonder why a friend May 19, 2020 · In a Toxic Friendship? Here’s What to Look For (and How to Handle It) Friends help make life more meaningful. 1. I keep all my conversations very simple and silly just to pass the time when I am with them. If you notice that your friend is constantly showering you with praise, even when you’ve done something wrong or made a mistake, it might be a sign of concern. Exactly this. So there’s that. The idea you have that you're not good enough for other people yet is what's sustaining this problem for you. Wrap-up. List your priorities and make sure that those things that come before your friend are tended to first. 3. It really sucks. Oct 23, 2024 · This friend is a safe haven, a shoulder to lean on when times get tough. I'd go to her place. They are very bubbly and talkative. Now I have only few friends but they appreciate me and I love them. May 2, 2019 · Research shows that about 73 percent of adults have served as a confidant to a friend or family member about a marriage problem. Normally, my friends and I take turns focusing on eachother so i feel like the favor is always returned. You may decide not to be friends with someone for any reasons you want to and you don’t owe anyone your friendship. But lately I've been going through some things I have a friend, whom I supposed as my closest and best friend but after months, I realized that he is not as good as I think of him. Being Jan 22, 2019 · But if you often find yourself listening to friends who always have problems, you may start to feel drained or resentful. I’m socially anxious but that’s not an excuse. They might just be saying something nice because they want something from you. You are 18. Happiness comes from solving problems. No ideas of stuff to DO. He goes to therapy. He thinks of himself as very knowledgeable and mature but isn't one. They fear judgment or criticism. This is like, level one, square one. She would text me every day wanting to hang out. I have a friend who can’t seem to hold down a job for very long before becoming very frustrated with it. The friends I have now either don’t get me or don’t get my humor. It helps them feel better about themselves and avoid feeling any negative emotion like guilt or embarrassment. She accused me bringing the negativity in the group. Dump them. it also sucks when your friends are in a relationship w each other because you dont wanna be a third wheel all the time D: Feb 4, 2025 · While friends don't always need to share the same beliefs, having similar values can help sustain a long-lasting relationship. I’m sick of these friends implying that I’m weird when they have many of their own problems. He has a habit of always pointing out mistakes in whatever small sentence I say and always starts giving unsolicited free sermons. No. She has been dealing with chronic pain for the past few years and can’t really move from her bed now. We go out , we meet , we chat , but I no longer share anything personal with them. I'm ENFP too btw :) Dec 29, 2019 · A viewer wanted to know how to handle friends who think of you as their therapist. I have had to cut off friends this way because at some point, they just want to complain and want you to commiserate. You know the one – they’re always there to lift you up, no matter what. Never back away in helping a friend in trouble. This friend never provides constructive criticism or tells you when you’re wrong. It's her partner, not yours---and you don't have to like him. The shit thing about that is they don't see the issue. I'm an old friend and I guess she feels comfortable enough to unload on me, but I'm kinda jealous of her newer, less intimate friends, who just get to party and hang out with her like I used to do. It was that she was always talking about her problems and she always told me I was wrong when I voiced my opinion. The Camp Counselor. Really it's because they never ask and I don't really open up about things unless someone asks me. It can be difficult to handle. I have a friend who complains constantly about her love life and her financial situation without doing anything to change either. Keep in mind that they have lost lots of friends. Most of the time I learn A LOT more about my friends than other people because they trust me. THE FIX. While I understand that's how people play around and have done my fair share of teasing myself towards my friends, some of them take it too far and do it so often it doesn't feel like a joke anymore. I still don’t have any friends I just keep to myself. Sep 6, 2023 · You could feel unsafe, unworthy and unhappy if your friends continuously interrupt, criticize, invalidate or minimize your experiences. ) So you're talking about a situation where everyone thinks they're right, more or less, (unless they have no opinion on a certain topic), but this one friend INSISTS they are right. or friend who she's always on and off with, and you've given her the same advice over and over, don't be afraid to say you can't be of any help, and that you're tired of always telling them the same thing. You have listened and supported. After another incident a month or so ago where I realized she really does not check in to hear me, but rather only when she needs to be heard, I left. Our neighbor is like that with my wife. So, seeking new friends while an option, may not seem like the easiest thing. He/she is being selfish and hangs out with us only to fulfill his/her purposes. but i have a friend that always think that you are wrong just to prove him self right not to find the truth. If your friend often talks about their problems and treats you as a counselor, your conversations might become more balanced if your friend starts going to regular therapy. We seemed to have a lot in common. zalt paiezf uqar ljzcuc pyxru aiwwbwp cyba wyqo lobywug jvvbs zuvfe tdmvs esepkf fclbtbr xhlzr